The End is Almost Near

The end is almost. As we speak, we may finally count the days of my five year college education, as it is about to close its curtains. I could hear myself clapping from the backstage, patting everyone's back, congratulating the people who has been a great part of my life. And although I could vividly imagine that great scenario, the fact that a big chunk is still holding us back, is giving me a nasty headache and the verge to cry. 

As this big event is about to happen, dilemmas are definitely rushing and thrown at me at the same time. Things like, where I am suppose to go after college? Am I going to work here or somewhere that I want to be? Or what happens to my lovelife when I have to go far away (like someone I want told me about their feelings yet)? or, is there a future for me?

the last question scares me most of the time. Having my kind of parents, often times you'd definitely doubt yourself. I am often discouraged by the way they their plans and what they want for me. Apparently, I disagree with them... like all the time! Another thing that has been bothering us is our final project. For me, once I couldn't graduate because of this, I know I would not surely die inside, the really, I will. I cannot shame myself from my parents. I cannot shame myself from the whole family, nor to the people I am known with. It kills more of than expected. 

Without little light I am trying to hold on. Even if we all know that things might not be okay, but still we all are hopeful to be okay. I am never an optimist, but with all that makes sense, I know every hard work is something to look forward to.